His Obituary Read
Santa Monica, CA:
“Richard, whose presence shook up this world in the best of times, transitioned from this life on February 19th, 2014.”
Looking at Richard in his new luxury casket I knew he was laughing his ass off.
Richard was a con mans con man. He started bilking his peers out of their lunch money in grade school. Boy, he was smooth. He could sell anything to anyone it seemed. Too bad he went from legal to illegal in his addiction to fun and money.
He would run a scam in one town until it got to hot and then start anew in another state. I believe he was one of the original “Ponzi” scheme artist. Always advertising unbelievable returns to investors. He gained quite a following of famous people who would tout his brilliance. The investment returns WERE unbelievable because they were not real. He was using new investors funds to provide astronomical returns for his new clients. The old robbing Peter to pay Paul scam. It was a house of cards that was destined to fall and it did. Big time!
Looking around the church I see his four ex wife’s, who make a point of not looking at each other, with dollar signs in their eyes. Being Richard’s financial advisor I knew he was almost broke. But knowing Richard as I did, I knew he had one big surprise left.
Coming towards me, actually almost running, was the funeral director red in the face and sweating. Waving a check in the air, I knew what had happened. Richard’s financial advice that people paid millions for.
Richard always said “Good financial planning was when the last check you wrote to the funeral home bounced.”
I think I see him smiling now.