Orlando Safari

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“Good Morning Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe and Mr. and Mrs Lion. My name is Chitundu and I will be your tour guide for this wonderful adventure that we call “The Great Orlando Safari”. On your tour this morning you will find massed herds of sun burned Homo Sapiens and flamingo-carpeted lakes. You can’t get much more of a classic East Florida experience than on our Great Orlando Safari.”

“A safari with us is unlike any other Orlando safari holiday. Here you will escape from the crowds and experience the classic American tourist in their native environment without the presence of other animals. Our group offers our animal visitors:

  • Exclusive access to human wildlife
  • Personal attention of qualified safari guides
  • 4×4 vehicles not minibuses
  • Escorted walks and night game drives

On the Orlando luxury safari, venture deep into the Homo Sapiens amusement parks, a park that contains the country’s highest concentration of big butts, including such creatures as the Baby Boomers, The Great Generation, and the Gen-xers.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe, are you quite comfortable?”

“Yes, and you can call me George and my wife’s name is Ginger. Oh, and thanks for the sun roof. It really helps us view these terrific humans in their native habitat.”

“Mr. Lion and Mrs. Lion are you also quite comfortable?”

“Wonderful, and you can call me Leo and my wife’s name is Lucy.”

“Ok, off we go! Look, there is our first view of one of their moving homes. Looks like a new Winnebago to me. Oh, and there’s a classic, the original Airstream. Looks like they are just getting out for their morning ritual of campfire cooking. What do you think so far folks?”

“Mr. Giraffe, Mr. Lion where are you guys?” Those were his last words as the lion broke his neck.

The screams of the humans could be heard. They slowly faded away.